One of my first instances of knowing about Guruji and Kala Ashram was during my school days. It was sort of a mixed fortune that I was Apurv’s classmate although my interaction during school was limited. You would understand the phrase “Mixed Fortune” as you read along. I, for a fact, knew through other friends that Apurv used to stay in two places, one his family home and the other, Kala Ashram. Appu ka Ashram as it was referred to was more of a cricketing spot for the batch and as it was a bit far from home, I went there only once and just saw it from outside as cricket was not possible that day due to some reason. And I read a bit about Kala Ashram in one of the local editions of Eenadu newspapers, I guess during my 10th standard and while it did give a glimpse about Guruji Ravindra Sharma, I was not much into artistic stuff anyway to explore the Kala Ashram back then.

I come from a family with agricultural roots with my earlier generation trying to shift towards business, more particularly the fertilizers (which my dad and maternal uncles initiated) and irrigation equipment (which my kaka (paternal uncle) initiated) and our generation actively being brainwashed that good education, government job or moving to the US were the best ways to live life. I knew that my dad (before he dropped out of the business venture and chose to lead a life of no pursuits) and other uncles had been to Singapore trip with the sponsorship from fertilizer company – Rallis. I wondered why the company would spend so much for such a thing. Later I realized, why wouldn’t they, after all these people were the influencers promoting their products to farmers.

My grandfather wanted me to stay away from farming and wished I would stay focused on education and end up earning well. But for me, the summers at my native village were the best. Of course, part of it may be the holidays, but the activity of managing the cow herds and other farm related activities were interesting although my knowhow was limited. And then the random exploration with my friends around the water stream and the farmlands or getting the flower buds of tamarind and making a snack out of it with oil, chilli powder and salt or going for the pen ganga Jatara during Sankranthi.

I always wondered why we used to grow cotton and soybean (not for consumption but for sale as cash crops) and not many food crops (although jowar and tur were done to some extent). Of course, later I realized how the shift happened from self-sufficiency in grains to money driven craze for cash crops as our rural norms started shifting and people looked more towards towns and cities. Even back then we used to have Jowar grains (sorghum millets) stored in underground silos that were sealed with mud at the top, right in front of our houses which were called Patara. And these were taken out and used for household consumption as well as given to the farm workers as part of their wage / salary along with some money and over time, it got replaced by currency completely. People preferred white rice over jowar and cash over grain.

Then came the era of BT cotton, which was more worrying for me back then and wished that our government didn’t allow it, but unfortunately, it wasn’t the case. While we read about the green revolution in our textbooks, I wondered why it was needed in the first place if not for the British exploitation in the past and the marketing push from multinationals in the name of solving the problems without evaluating the consequences.

And then there was this issue of communism in my village, which by the time I was in school was not much severe, but we used to hear the stories of killings and murders in the name of communist party fights which was one reason cited by my mom not to stay in our village and preferring the town instead. My kaka had a near death experience during one such clash.

So, there I was just focused on school and being good academically in my school and with limited means of living in my family, everyone just wanted me to do good academically and nothing else. And with the marketing lure of the semi-corporate education system of the coaching institutes in Andhra Pradesh (just like elsewhere in India although in different forms), the goal was set to crack the state and national level entrance tests and be an engineer (Pursuing medicine was an option I ignored due to my fear of drawing (sketching) skills needed in biology and the cost of studying medicine, which I believed was not within my family’s budget). While I didn’t explicitly dream of topping those exams, the newspaper ads about the rankers did have my attention. And while the initial experience of hostel and coaching made me withdraw from Hyderabad Sri Chaitanya campus within 10 days, the classes that so many of my relatives took when I came back home and some support from my kaka just made me run away and join Sri Chaitanya Vijayawada (where my other school friends were there for company).

As luck would have it, I did well and pursued my engineering from NIT Warangal, worked for ISRO for 4 years and ended up pursuing MBA from IIM Bangalore later, but all through, I somehow started losing the charm of the so-called success, which felt just materialistic and without much connection with the surroundings, the people and the nature. The fact that I had to study away from home led to a disconnect with most of the life and people in Adilabad, which I could only yearn for. While the choices of my journey were something I made, I feel it was a collective coercion by the world of marketing starting with making farmers feel insufficient with their natural techniques of farming and their self-sufficient way of life and getting dependent on industries and market forces to making parents feel that the education they can give to their kids locally was insufficient to many such things.

The more subliminal effects of marketing (combined with the flashy entertainment activities of movies, television and media) were that you get a layered filter in the way you see life or perceive things. The first time I went to Kala Ashram, my imagination was that it would be beautifully adorned with artefacts like the way they are portrayed in the flashy museums etc. However what I saw was very much simple, natural and casual just as I would see things in my village. This cognitive dissonance of imagination about what is beautiful as showcased by the world of marketing I was exposed to vs what I saw, left me confused. A young me who didn’t understand or appreciate art except for the utility of things probably, could not make sense of it. This was probably during my undergrad days when I went to meet Apurv.

Slowly though, my connection with Apurv started building and I, Apurv and one of our other friends – Guru used to discuss and debate things in life in the Ashram occasionally. All the while, my interaction with Guruji was only once (during my first visit where I tried to shake my hand, and he folded hands and said Namaste) and while some other students of his touched his feet and took his blessings, I couldn’t do so as by then I was more trained in shaking hands with my professors and elders than touching their feet. (While I used to touch the feet of my parents and grandparents when leaving them or the pujaris in temples, for my mind it was a bit of inertia still). While the idea of taking blessings or shaking hands may be a choice, the way it has been made in the society over the last few generations shows how we have been made to feel bad about our own culture and our egos were played against ourselves.

After a few years, I heard the unfortunate news of Guruji’s passing away and I lost all the opportunities of a real direct interaction with him forever. Yet, I had the fortunate opportunity to evolve in my own journey and stay connected with Apurv, who very much continues to carry Guruji’s legacy. From a stage during my childhood, where I was trained to think that Adilabad had nothing available for a good life to days during my startup when I had an opportunity to visit some farmers in Utnoor, who were collecting chandas and constructing a temple, while paying interest on money lent to them in the excess of 25% and feeling why they were so careless about their finances, to coming to realise how beautiful Adilabad was and is, with its forest cover and the myriad ways of living it held through centuries and decades, it was a complete eye opener.

While pursuing an MBA was never something I thought fit in with my inherent nature and I probably did so as an option for my career, it was a good thing to happen as it helped me learn how the world of business and marketing works and the flaws it carries. While I didn’t have the opportunity to land the most lucrative of jobs through MBA and have many qualms and questions while working on certain roles (even when lucrative), it helped me understand what must be undone for a simple and peaceful life. And as I continue to explore further for figuring out what and how to teach my young kids, I had an opportunity to know Guruji more closely through his videos shared and discussed by Muneet Dhiman ji of Vidyakshetra.

As I continue pondering, exploring and experiencing answers to the questions of “Who am I?” and “What does the journey of life and beyond is meant to be?”, I believe there is a lot to learn and unlearn and find ways to unravel the Maya of Marketing for everyone and for that, I believe Guruji’s blessings would be with me.